mine

sticky surface salty feelings. mundane day. flew the years have past. here in this room sits an undeserving girl who takes pleasure in indulging in self-pity and wallowing in negative and self-destructive thoughts. i love her. i love her too. yet i have never been lovable to them. what am i doing. i have done this countless times without seeming to grow or improve. i told you i love being self-destructive. what for. this sickness has been with me ever since i entered school. 10 years have passed. what is the difference. this is the silly angst of a childish mind. what. really? oh i see. what can i say when this is not the first time im going this. seeking attention. i guess so. for? to gratify my vainity. how i wish you would. you would leave a little something behind other than regret and shallowness in me. why and whatever for! i promised not to go there so many times yet i cannot resist the temptation. for my will power is weak. n my motivation hazy. perhaps only seeing the coffin or being in it myself will wake me up. Thanks. thanks. i am not like that! i do not want to be like that! for? to procrastinate. n i would put you back. Not. although this will make no difference to you. this i promise myself that i will keep this promise for till school reopens. Caroline Bingley. How i feel i am like her. Yikes. that is why i must keep my OWN PROMISE. =) bye bye and hi! to the new one inside ! =)

N.ME.